Young Love Dies Hard: The Young Brothers, Book 1 Page 9

  She didn’t answer the phone on the first call. I didn’t bother to leave a voicemail, just hung up and recalled. It was a time like this when I was relieved I’d insisted she had her own cellphone. I didn’t care that it cost me more money on my bill. I wanted to know that I could reach her when I needed to.

  She finally answered with that sullen voice she used whenever she wasn’t happy.

  “I don’t want to go back there. Ever.” Her voice cracked.

  “Don’t worry,” I said. “You won’t have to. I promise.” I fought the urge to say I told you so. But that never helped anyone.

  “What will happen to her?” she said.

  I let out a silent breath. “I don’t know.” Maybe I should have lied. Was I supposed to have all the answers?

  “They’re thinking of putting the farm up for sale.” There was no inflection in her voice to indicate her feelings about this news. She just blurted it out matter-of-factly.

  “I heard.”

  “Maybe Riley’s parents will let me live here.”

  I shook my head and rested my fingertips on the part of my forehead where I felt a budding headache.

  “Don’t worry about that right now. The farm isn’t going anywhere. Aunt Meg and Uncle Jim might change their minds.” Especially if I helped out more. Worked more hours at the club. Sent them more money each month. “Besides, I’m your big sister, remember? You know the first place you’d go is with me.”

  I had always known that it would eventually happen. With no stable parents, and Aunt Meg and Uncle Jim aging, I knew the day was coming when I’d have to be Kasey’s full-time guardian. But that time was quickly approaching, and a flash of panic hit me. How was I going to take care of a nine-year-old girl all alone, and more importantly, was I ready?

  Chapter Nine

  Jacob carried my bag for me as we walked back to the apartment from campus. He never asked. It just became a normal part of our walk. The walking did, too. We both had an evening class that ended at the same time. He’d always be waiting for me outside of Bunce Hall. The cool air had finally kicked in and the green leaves were starting to rust.

  “How was work today?” I asked.

  “Good. You know it’s always been my dream to clean out smelly animal cages.”

  “Just think in four years you’ll be working as a vet.”

  A few people said hello to Jacob as they walked by. He smiled and said hello back, immediately returning his attention to me. “Four years seems like forever.”

  “Time always seems to slow when you’re waiting for something you really want. All good things are worth waiting for.”

  He lowered his head and smiled. “You bring up a good point.”

  “Maybe I could be a vet.”

  He cocked his head to one side. “I’m not sure about that.”

  “Why not?” I said. “I love animals.”

  He nodded. “True. But you can hardly stand the sight of blood and your stomach flips at the word mucous plug.”

  I shuddered and shook my head, remembering the night we delivered Billy. “Never mind.”

  “I have something for you.”

  “You do?”

  He swung his bookbag off his back and rummaged through it. “Here.”

  I took the wrinkled piece of paper from his hands and stopped walking as I read over the words. It was a flyer for classes at a dance studio. They offered all kinds of lessons—jazz, tap, ballet.

  “Where did you get this?” I asked.

  “It was pinned on the waiting room bulletin board at the vet’s office. I thought you might be interested.” He readjusted the bookbag so that it was on his back again; his fingers clutched the straps near his waist.

  “Thank you.” The gesture caught me off-guard. “I haven’t been to a dance class in years.” I could barely get the words out, still staring at the flyer.

  “Now’s a good time as any.” A small smile curled his lips. “You used to love it so much. And you were so good at it. I don’t know why you quit.”

  “I didn’t quit because I wanted to. It just got too…hard.” We resumed walking, and I folded the flyer up and put it into my bag. “And how would you know I was any good? You’ve never seen me dance.”

  He gave me a crooked look. “Yes, I have.”

  “When?” I said, incredulously.

  “You’re telling me you don’t remember?”

  “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

  “My mom went to one of your recitals and dragged me along with her.”

  Jacob’s mom had come to one or two recitals, but I didn’t remember Jacob being there. I had been lucky enough to just have Aunt Meg show up.

  He adjusted his glasses. “She made me sit through the most boring two hours of my life, watching little girls twirl around the stage and wave to their parents.”

  “Well, I’m sorry. I didn’t know they were putting you through that kind of torture.”

  “It wasn’t so bad. The fifteen minutes you were on stage made up for it.”

  The blood rushed to my cheeks. He was taking a little piece of my heart, bit by bit. How long before he had it all?

  We stopped at the crosswalk and waited for the light to change green. A brunette with a pink headband stood inches from us, clutching a bag on her shoulder.

  “Hey, Jacob.” Her voice was syrupy sweet. The kind that would put a cavity in your brain if you listened to it for too long.

  “Hey, Taylor.”

  She smiled, seeming a bit relieved that he remembered her name. “How’s it going?”

  “Good. Happy the weekend is finally here.”

  Jacob gestured to me. “Maeve, this is Taylor. We study at the same table in the library.”

  I was sure that was no coincidence. “It’s nice to meet you, Taylor.”

  “You, too.”

  I tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear and pulled out a cigarette. I needed to occupy by mouth with something to keep my thoughts from falling out. I zoned out of the conversation. When the hell was this light going to turn green?

  “What do you think, Maeve?”

  “Huh?” I let out a stream of smoke from my nose.

  “The party,” Jacob said. “Wanna go?”

  “Can’t tonight. Work.”

  Finally, the light turned.

  “Well, I hope to see you there, Jacob.” She smiled one more time before crossing the street and going in the opposite direction.

  Jacob pulled the cigarette from my fingers as I took another drag. I scowled as he threw it on the ground.

  “I thought you said you were going to quit.”

  “I am.” I popped out a piece of Nicorette and stuck it into my mouth.

  When we got back to the apartment, Jacob plopped on the couch and pulled the books from his bag. I sat on the floor next to him to finish an assignment before I had to leave for work. I thwacked my pen against my notebook, rereading the same words on the page. Jacob’s face was buried in his book.

  “What are you going to do tonight?” I asked.

  He didn’t look up. “Stay here and study.”

  “What about the party?” Thwack, thwack, thwack.

  “What about it?”

  “Aren’t you going?”

  He finally looked up at me, and my pen froze.

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Oh, come on, Jacob. You’ve done nothing but go to class, work at the vet clinic, and study. You need to get out a little.”

  He scrunched his face. “You’re one to talk.”

  “I told you I have to work tonight.” I set my notebook down on the floor. “You need to get out and meet people…get over your social anxiety.”

  I could almost hear his eyes roll.

  “Okay, please don’t start psychoanalyzing me. Last week, I had OCD, and now I’m suffering from Social Anxiety Disorder.”

  “You know I’m thinking about becoming a psych major.”

  “Taking one class in abnormal psych
does not qualify you to make a credible diagnosis. If anyone has the disorder, it’s you.”

  “Do not.” I walked over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water.

  He lounged back on the couch and hooked his pen on the arm of his eyeglasses. “Why do you care so much whether I go to this party or not?”

  I leaned against the kitchen counter. “I don’t.” I took another sip. “I’m going to get ready for work.”

  * * * *

  I came home to a dark apartment. The usual mess of blankets and pillows was missing from the couch, so I flicked on the light.

  It was nearly three in the morning, and Jacob wasn’t home.

  I flopped on the couch, feeling a little deflated. He actually went to the party. And probably because I made such a big deal about it. My mind started to drift as I wondered what he was doing, and who he was doing it with. Was Taylor spilling her sticky sweetness all over him? She didn’t look like the kind to put out on the first night. But sometimes we weren’t all so obvious.

  I needed to distract myself. And wash the smell of other men off my body. Every time I closed my eyes in the shower, I saw Taylor’s hands all over Jacob. This was ridiculous. Jacob wasn’t mine. I didn’t have claim over him. If he wanted to go out and have mindless sex with someone, who was I to stop him? I was the last person to argue against mindless sex.

  I got out of the shower and heard the front door open and close as I brushed my hair. I wrapped the towel tighter around my body and peered out the door. Jacob’s silhouette was standing near the couch, pulling his shirt over his head.

  “Hey,” I said.

  “Hey.” He tossed his shirt on the floor. “How was work?”

  “Fine. How was the party?”

  “I didn’t go.” He kicked off his shoes and started to unbuckle his belt.

  I gaped at him from the bathroom.

  “Why do you look so surprised?” he asked. “I told you I wasn’t going.”

  “I know. I was sure you’d change your mind.” I walked a little closer, my eyes gleaming over his bare chest. I’d just spent the last five hours being ogled by every slimy guy within a hundred miles. It felt good to be able to enjoy a little of my own eye candy. How was it possible this was a man who had only slept with one woman? It just seemed to go against all the laws of nature. Like hearing a dog meow. It made no fucking sense. “Where’d you go so late?”

  “Made a food run.” He gestured to the bag on the coffee table. “I was studying so hard I forgot to eat.”

  “I would’ve picked something up for you.”

  He shrugged. “It’s fine. I needed the break.” He took out his food and unwrapped the sandwich on the table. “Hungry?”

  I shook my head even though he wasn’t looking at me. “No, thank you.” Beads of water trickled down my arm. It felt like I was covered in ladybugs. “I’m going to get dressed. Are you going to be up for a little longer?”

  He nodded, then took another bite of food.

  I headed to my room and slipped on a tank top and a pair of cotton shorts. Jacob was lounged on the couch in just a pair of jeans, all evidence of food gone. A movie was paused and ready to go on the TV.

  “Want to watch a movie with me?” The light from the TV highlighted his face. He scratched his scruffy beard and the sound made me want to rub my hands all over it.

  “Sure.”

  He patted the space next to him, and I happily slid in the spot. He felt warm and solid and smelled like home. I took my first deep breath all night.

  I nuzzled in close to his bare chest, resting my head in the crook of his arm. To anyone else, we could be just another couple enjoying a movie night. But we weren’t. And the thought stung a little.

  Jacob grabbed the remote and started the movie.

  Dirty Dancing.

  I peered up at him and smiled as his fingers fiddled with the ends of my hair.

  “You’re never going to meet anyone if this how you keep spending your weekends.”

  “What about you?” he said. “When’s the last time you went out on a date?”

  I stifled a laugh. “I don’t go out on dates, Jacob.”

  “And why is that?”

  It took me a few seconds to respond. “I just don’t.”

  “You’ve never been on a date?”

  “Nope, dating’s not really my thing.”

  He shifted in his seat. “When’s the last time you were in a relationship?”

  “Um…” I made some funny noises with my mouth, pretending to calculate the time. “Never.”

  “You’re kidding.”

  “Nope.”

  “So what do you do?” I could tell he was thinking about it.

  I sat up straight. “Do I really have to explain it?”

  “I’m sorry. I just find it hard to believe that you’ve never been in a relationship before.”

  “Why?”

  “Because…”

  It was obvious he was struggling to answer.

  “Because why, Jacob?”

  He looked away. “Look at you, Maeve.” His fingers pulled at the frayed fabric of the couch. “I mean, you have to know.”

  “Know what?” I muttered.

  His eyes fell on me. “How beautiful you are.”

  A warm ache coiled though my entire body. “You think I’m beautiful?”

  “Of course I do. I’m not blind.”

  I smiled wide, believing he would never tell me something he really didn’t mean. There was no ulterior motive. And in that moment, I felt beautiful.

  “Well, you’re not exactly hideous, either.”

  Why was I so bad at this?

  He laughed. “Thanks…I think.”

  He readjusted so that the gap between our bodies was sealed. I didn’t want to admit that it made the blood rush through me.

  I shied my reddening face away. He reached his hand out to touch my jaw and gently turned my head to face him. I stood absolutely still, my heart drumming in my chest. I should have pulled away, stood up from the couch, made it glaringly obvious that we couldn’t do what I thought we were about to. But my body wouldn’t move. My heart was in control. And my brain could do nothing to pull me out of this hypnotic state.

  Jacob leaned in at a deliberate pace. I licked my lips, not to be seductive or sexy, but because I was so nervous and they’d gone dry.

  His eyes flickered from my mouth and then back to my eyes. It wasn’t too late. I could still stop this. It wasn’t fair to Jacob. My breath caught in my throat as he leaned in a little closer.

  Don’t let it happen. You’ll never be able to come back from it.

  He set his lips on mine. I closed my eyes and let my hand mold against the soft felt of his beard. I panicked for a few seconds, fearing that he would push me away and wipe off the residue from my mouth because I tasted like damaged goods.

  But he didn’t. He kissed me harder. I opened my mouth and his tongue made a slow crawl around mine. I felt the warmth of his breath against my face as he exhaled, pressing deeper into the kiss. Every thought in my head was silenced. I wrapped my other hand around his neck, and he gently moved with me as I lay back on the couch.

  His body hovered over me while his mouth made its way down my neck. My skin prickled with goosebumps, and a rush of adrenaline shot through my body. I brushed my hand through his hair and held the nape of his neck as he kissed me again. He ran a hand over the material of my shirt, applying some pressure over my breast. And then it hit me like a hammer over the head. My brain had managed to wrangle my fluttering heart.

  “Jacob, wait.” I put two hands on his chest and nudged him back. “You don’t want to do this.”

  “What?” he panted. His eyebrows pulled together. “Of course I do.”

  And if the bulge in his pants was any indication, he wasn’t lying. But I couldn’t let him go through with this. At least not with me.

  I sat up and readjusted the strap of my shirt.

  “What’s the matter?” he asked.


  “I just…don’t want to ruin things between us.”

  “Ruin it how?”

  “By sleeping together. I mean, if that’s what you wanted to do.”

  His eyes did a frantic search over my face. “Of course, it crossed my mind. But it doesn’t have to be tonight.” He pushed the hair away from my forehead.

  I practically melted into the couch, unable to meet his eyes.

  “I just don’t think any of this is a good idea.”

  “Oh.” He retracted his hand and pulled his body away from mine. He sat back down on the couch, leaving a big space between us. “Okay.”

  I sat up, too. “Jacob, it’s not what —”

  He stood up. “It’s fine, Maeve. You don’t have to explain.” The frown on his face told me otherwise.

  I got up and followed him to the kitchen. “You’re my best friend, Jacob. And I don’t want to taint our relationship with meaningless sex.”

  “Meaningless?” He closed the refrigerator door and stared at me. “Is that what it is to you?”

  That’s the only kind I knew. The physical act of sex summed up its definition for me — love and devotion were not required. But I couldn’t say that out loud. There was no way. I was too ashamed to even think it.

  So, all he got from me was silence — the only response I could muster.

  He scoffed and walked right past me, his unbuttoned jeans resting low on his hips. I really needed to get my head checked.

  “You know what? You’re right.” He clicked off the TV and left me standing in the kitchen in the dark. “I’m sorry.” He flashed me a smile. But I knew it wasn’t genuine. “I’m going to bed.”

  I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. And maybe it was better that way.

  Chapter Ten

  It was a shitty day for walking, but I didn’t have much of a choice. I declined Jacob’s invitation to drive with him to Aunt Meg and Uncle Jim’s. He’d taken my car early that afternoon to help Uncle Jim with some of the animals and mentioned that he may be staying the night. Mom was still there, and that was a whole plate of shit I wasn’t in the mood to eat.

  Although I’d gotten use to his company at the apartment, I was kind of looking forward to a night alone. Over the last couple weeks, the subtle tension from our make-out session on the couch put a nice little wedge between us. Jacob tried to act like nothing was wrong. But I could sense it. Something was off.